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Saturday, August 14, 2010

kiki Monster,

remember i said i will post a long paragraph for you if it didn't work out?
I didn't until now. Cause i hope you will sort your thinking and I still think there's hope.
But now, there's no more. You can agree with me too.
Since you didn't make a decision. I had.
If you notice, all the post before about you will be in yellow. You didn't notice it.
I still remember you said that its only me. You lied.
Sometimes its hurts acting like i don't care for you anymore. But i need to and i have to.

Remember the first time we added on tagged and msn?
I never really wanted to talk to you in the first place.Whenever you said 'hello' i will be like,
'this guy again!' ,But slowly your determination pleased me. I gave you a chance to introduced yourself. We talked and I find you interesting in many ways. I always get the wrong spelling and you always picked me about it. I found you cheerful and entertaining. Slowly i found myself waiting eagerly for you to online. Thats when i thought. 'hey,this must be something' .Soon i found myself so in love with you. We never really see each other but i still do. I know your soft spot and your good points.Your soft spot make me wanna hold you so you dont get hurt and i support your good point to make you so soar. I love our midnight call. Its undescribedable. All kind of mix emotions. I cant wait for the daylight to turn dark just to hear your voice.I love when you sing 'Nurain' and change her name to my name. I feel appreciated, really. I wanted to be in your arms, but there's time dosent allow me to. I was your bunny and you're my monster. Whenever i saw your name appearing at the side box when u online, i counted 1..2..3.. seconds and the window will pop with your message , "Bunny! (:" . I always greet it with the widest smile ever.


Now, When you told me you love your ex ,Ifah. It hurts so badly. I feel all the high hopes you build inside me crushed just like that. Those months which pass by is worthless. Those sacrifise i did feel worthless, those I love you and I miss you is worthless. In fact, I feel worthless too.I thought that i was just another girl to be played by guys. No wonder i could see the change. It is rapidly. Our call will be at 9 or 10 pm before and recently it will be nearly 1 or 2am? After a few minutes and you get sleepy and sleep on the phone. I was okay, until it gets to me that you're doing it everyday.What is it?Is there really a time slots? Which slot am i in ? Your msg before shows excitement by now its replaced by a dull 'okay'. I swear i hate that word from now onwards. I did warn your changes but it dosent work. Slowly, its showing on the net. I always see the name 'Ifah Bob'at your stalker list. Either before or after me. I get me suspicious.Somehow i feel like i heard of her name. That night i make a topic about exes and slowly ask the name of your exes. And indeed, Ifah was one of yours. This stalker thing happens every time you did your stalker listing. The next day we talk about something and you ask me 'What are you waiting? ' this hurt me. What hurts me even more when you said you dont know if you still love her , and you cant swear that you didn't love her. Yes, Miya didn't like you, cant you prove to her? You're weak you cant stand an insult, you will sulk at a little bit of it. Making me feel bad about it. and is meeting my sister a hard thing to do?

Yes, I'm selfish. I dont want to share my love with Ifah. If you choose me, it will be me only. Isn't sharing cheating? If i were you, i wouldn't take her cause I've tried to be with her once and it dosent work, so i'll try with another one. I dont want to see another girl getting hurt, its fine if it is me.Have you ever hear the quote 'If you love someone let them go, if its yours,they will come back' ? Yeah, you didn't. So just go to her. I'll try to forget you even if it takes months.I love you so fucking much. Thats why i wanna see you happy. Even if you are with me but you are unhappy , it will be no use.But its okay, i'll accept whats there for me. I wish you and her the best. This is my last post for you. You are open to read my blog if you want to. I'll still be your friend in need.Come to me if you need any help . Dont ever regret your decision. Have a stand. Be a man .